"Getting ready" and "Under the oath"
Reflection
Getting Ready
In this charcoal self-portrait entitled 'Getting ready' (150x110cm) I depict the process of donning personal protective equipment (scrubs, gloves, face mask etc.) as a way of reflecting the transition from being an ordinary individual to entering the role of a health care professional.
Through the multiplicity of hands and my use of loose, quick mark making I aim to demonstrate the intensely busy nature of the role and emphasise the importance of the tasks ahead. By contrast, I have kept the eyes downcast and expression sombre in order to highlight the need for clarity and calm rational decision making. In this way I have tried to make one consider the tension between the need to focus and the need for action.
Through my lack of personally identifiable characteristics and my much greater focus on the uniform, I further emphasise how in taking on this professional role one must often allow elements of their personal identity to fade into the background. Despite this however, I think that even if one may not be able to see the face, the viewer can still experience and identify with the commitment and dedication they see before them.
In making this drawing a self portrait I am also exploring my own journey and transition into what it means to me to become a health care professional, especially in an era that has been marked by the pandemic.
Under the oath
To explore the influence of becoming a medical student on my identity I painted this self-portrait, which I named "Under Oath". In it I depict myself wearing surgical scrubs with words of the Hippocratic Oath, taken from an ancient papyrus, projected onto me.
I feel that by becoming a medical student I have not only embarked upon a five year degree but also a lifetime's vocation with other people at its heart. I know that this will be immensely rewarding, but I am also conscious that it will come with challenges as I try to meet the societal expectations of what it will mean to become a doctor. In my painting I tried to demonstrate this using the Hippocratic Oath and scrubs to symbolise the external expectations projected onto me both by society and the professional guild I am joining.
Since starting medical school, I have become increasingly aware of how all encompassing the role of a doctor can be. If you don't assume this role adequately you risk behaving unprofessionally or even endangering the very patients, you are there to help. Yet, by over-assuming the role of a doctor in society I feel you can lose aspects of your own identity, to the detriment of both you and your patients. In the future I hope to be able to maintain a balance between my own individual sense of self and my identity as a medical student, and hopefully a doctor. In my painting I have tried to convey this through my gaze, holding eye contact with the viewer as an indication of my own individuality.